Lessons Learned from Getting Floxed

1980-08 #15 - Version 2

I’m going to start this post with a disclaimer – when I say I “asked for” this, I don’t mean that I deserved to get sick.  It is not my fault that I got sick.  I have made plenty of mistakes in my life, and plenty of the mistakes that I’ve made have to do with taking those Cipro pills.  But still, the bomb that went off in my body as a result of taking Cipro was not my fault.  Those of you who are sick from fluoroquinolones or other Rx drugs, it is not your fault.  The disproportionately horrifying adverse reaction that you are going through makes any responsibility that you have in creating the problem miniscule in comparison to the responsibility of those who are at fault.  There are people who are to blame for your illness, but you are not one of them.  You are a victim.  So, when I say that I “asked for” the things that have come into my life after getting Floxed, I mean those words literally – I asked for them.

I’ve always wanted:

  1. Purpose
  2. Direction
  3. Passion
  4. Righteousness
  5. Something to say that was important/interesting
  6. To be heard/validated
  7. A spiritual outlet
  8. An identity
  9. To be a fighter – to be strong
  10. To lose 10 pounds

I asked for those things.  I sent those desires out into the universe in whatever form I sent them – vague thoughts, wishes, desires, prayers, etc.  If you had asked me at any point in my adult life if I wanted any of those things, I would have said yes.  There would have been no hesitation.  Without a doubt, I wanted each of those things to come into my life.  I didn’t have a plan of action for how I was going to obtain any of them, other than the most trivial of them – to lose 10 pounds – I always had a theory on how to do that.  I wanted all of the more important things too, but I had no idea how to get them.

I vaguely looked for purpose, direction, passion, righteousness and an identity through my education and career choices.  I got a Masters in Public Administration with the hope of finding a way to make the world a better place through public policy.  I had every intention of finding my purpose and passion through my Master’s program but when the program ended it was a struggle to pick a topic for my thesis because I hadn’t discovered anything that I really cared about.

I work for a non-profit.  The non-profit that is my employer does good work in the community by lending money to developers of affordable housing.  I like that I do something that is generally helpful, but I don’t feel passionate about what I do.  I admire the people who feel passionately about their careers and their lives.  I wished to live like them, to have something that got me riled up, something that I really cared about, something that made a difference in the world and that made me someone important.

I never thought that I was particularly tough or strong.  I have always been strong physically, but emotionally and mentally, I was sensitive and (I hate to admit it) weak.  I would sacrifice myself so that others could win, or not feel bad.  I needed validation and was torn down easily.  I never had much will-power, thus the fairly constant unfulfilled wish to lose ten pounds.

Despite not having passion, direction, etc. my life wasn’t bad.  In fact, it was quite good.  I had my health.  I had a family and friends who loved me immensely.  I had enough money (everyone wants more, of course, but I had enough to get by).  I had a job.  I owned a home.  Life was good, it just didn’t have the “oomph” that I wanted it to.  I wanted more “oomph” and, over time, never specifically consciously, I wished for the things listed above.  I wanted them.  I asked for them.

I got all of those things.  I survived getting poisoned by Cipro and in doing so I learned that I’m not only a survivor, I’m a fighter.  I gained passion, direction, righteousness, etc. through screaming that it is NOT OKAY for people to be poisoned by prescription antibiotics.  I found that I have something to say and a surprising number of people are listening to me.  I found spiritual outlets (you can read about that here http://www.collective-evolution.com/2013/09/14/a-journey-through-pharmaceutical-induced-illness/) and I found my soul.  I found my purpose.

I got exactly what I wanted.  Through getting sick.  Through recovering.  Through Cipro.  Out of all the things in the world, fucking Cipro, brought me those gifts.

I asked for them.  I asked and I received.  They just didn’t come in the packaging that I was looking for.

It’s kind of funny, isn’t it?  In a shoot-me, horrifying kind of way, it’s funny.  Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it.

There are some other things that I gained from getting sick.  If I had been a more wise person, I probably would have wished for them ahead of time.  They are:

  1. Empathy
  2. Compassion
  3. Patience
  4. Tolerance

I gained those things from being knocked down, from being sick.  When I was healthy, I didn’t even realize that I was lacking those things for those who are not healthy.  I now see the world in a way that enables me to have empathy, compassion, patience and tolerance for those who are struggling and sick.  In gaining those things, I have become a better person.

To wonder if it was the right thing, to wonder if my health and longevity should have been sacrificed so that I can have a purposeful and passionate life, is futile.  That choice, if it was a choice, was not made on a conscious level.  I certainly know that I will never sign up to get poisoned again and that I will do everything in my power to keep others from going through what I went through.  But the experience of getting sick, the experience of recovering, and now the experience of fighting, have made me a better person.  It’s good to be empathetic, compassionate, patient, tolerant, passionate, determined, righteous and even skinny*.  These are not bad cards to be dealt.

* Do NOT even think about taking a fluoroquinolone for weight loss.  I could list the ways that that’s a stupid idea, but I’ll just leave it at – don’t be an idiot.

 

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10 thoughts on “Lessons Learned from Getting Floxed

  1. Ellen Hall October 31, 2013 at 9:30 am Reply

    Lisa you are always inspiring…After my husband died, I was so lonely…I wished not to be lonely (I meant not to feel that way) Well, God answered my wish and sent me a 6 pound baby boy…that was in 2004. I have not been lonely since. I got another “gift” in 2006, my 2 year old great grandson..and it is true, they keep me young. I just could do so much more for and with them, if it were not for being floxed. Now I wish to not be such a grumpy granny.

    • Lisa Bloomquist November 1, 2013 at 8:36 pm Reply

      Thank you, Ellen! What a blessing your grandsons are! I’m glad that you see them that way. They love their Granny, I’m sure, even when she’s grumpy. You are a blessing as well. xoxoxo

  2. Barbara October 31, 2013 at 9:50 am Reply

    Lisa, Your words express my feelings so closely, I feel I could have written them! You’ve done so much for the community of those suffering, past and present, from the toxicity of fluoroquinolones. Relief often comes just from a kindred spirit offering kind words of understanding and support. Thank you for all you do. Hopefully your words will play a part in ridding the universe of those dreadful drugs one day soon…and at the very least help spread the word about the dangers of taking them.

    • Lisa Bloomquist November 1, 2013 at 8:39 pm Reply

      Thank you, Barbara! I’m screaming as best I can. We shall see if I will be heard; if we all will be heard, because each of us is screaming in our own way. One person at a time that hears us… the word will get out. Thank you, as always, for your support and kind words. 🙂

  3. Mary Patrice Kinnavane October 31, 2013 at 10:31 am Reply

    LOVELY LISA you have done it again just amazing and inspiring. Thank you again Lisa,
    MARY PATRICE kINNAVANE

    .

    • Lisa Bloomquist November 1, 2013 at 8:40 pm Reply

      Thank you, Mary! You are so kind! I appreciate you!

  4. Jan Bush October 31, 2013 at 3:58 pm Reply

    Another thing you’ve gained is you’ve become a terrific writer, and as you can see from these comments your writing is touching others. Great!

  5. La Donna Quinn November 1, 2013 at 7:49 am Reply

    Thank you Lisa! I had an adverse reaction about 7 weeks ago to 4 doses of levaquin given for pneumonia and an UTI (turned out I did not have pneumonia it was a false reading on first X-ray). I found our site and it was a blessing! Thank you for focusing on healing and public awareness of the dangers of this class of antibiotics. Thank you for this posting – what a beautiful written post on finding your strengths in weakness and what could be considered tragedy by most. I am feel 90% better, still some tendon pain in feet and neuropathic effects. However, because of people like you (providing stories of hope) and faith in the healing capabilities our creator gave our body I am sure that in time these effects will continue to lessen and eventually heal. Thank so much Lisa!

    • Lisa Bloomquist November 1, 2013 at 8:50 pm Reply

      Thank you, La Donna! I wish you continued healing, hope and faith! The number of people who have been hurt by fluoroquinolones prescribed to them when they didn’t even have an infection is appalling. It’s such an obvious violation of the Hippocratic Oath. It’s a shame, and it should be a crime. It’s my pleasure to have up stories of hope and healing. Healing is definitely possible. I wish you well into the future and please let me know (through the contact me link) if there is anything at all that I can do for you.

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