A friend wrote this to me –
I don’t believe I am going to get better, and I don’t know what to do anymore. This feels like a nightmare from which I cannot wake up. I know people say to stay positive, but I don’t know how, especially when, every day, I read comments in the group with people who are several years out, and have not improved. I know people say everyone is different, but after more than a year, I have a feeling I am one of the unfortunate few that never recover. What should I do?
Here is my response –
I think that you should just keep going. That’s all that is really required of you, or anyone else – just not giving up. In not giving up you are being hopeful. Eventually, it will become easier to not give up. Eventually, it will be effortless. At least that’s what I hope for you.
I recently got an email from someone who recovered after 8 years. 8 years is frightening, for sure. But she recovered. It did happen.
I encourage you to find something that makes you feel just a little bit better. Maybe that’s sunshine, or funny movies, or acupuncture, or magnesium, or whatever – and do that thing every day until the little incremental improvements add up.
And just don’t give up.
Try to believe that it will get better. It’s okay to not always believe that you will improve. But as long as you’re not giving up, things will change. Maybe they will change for the better. I hope that for you!
That’s what I think you should do. I hope that what I said doesn’t seem to trivialize your situation in any way. I know that it’s scary and I know that fear that it won’t end is normal. I think that just continuing on is difficult sometimes. That’s what I suggest you do though.
Post Script To All:
I wish you all healing, love, happiness, recovery and everything else that your heart desires. I’m sorry that this whole ordeal happened to you. I’m sorry for the pain. I’m sorry for the suffering. I’m sorry for the fear and the hopelessness. I hope that it all passes. I hope that you find your way back to health and happiness.
I know that sometimes it feels like it won’t pass, like you’re stuck in a hole and will never be able to crawl out of it. It will pass though. I can’t promise that you will recover completely, or that you’ll get your former abilities, or yourself, back. But I can promise you that this difficult moment will pass. It will change. Eventually you will stop falling down the hole, and you will start to improve; to emerge.
When you emerge, you’ll have all sorts of gifts that you didn’t ever want. Empathy and compassion for those with chronic, mysterious diseases, patience for yourself, faith in your resilience, etc. Those things are possible. They’re down that hole – look around and you’ll find them.
I am inclined to write trite sayings about this, and I’m not sure if they help or hurt. Hang in there. It will pass. Breathe. And just keep going. That is my advice.
And know, in every part of your being, in every breath you take, that you are loved.
It helps. I swear, it does.