People who read and follow Floxie Hope are often surprised to hear that I have a day job. Yes, I spend a lot of time on Fluoroquinolone Toxicity advocacy. No, it does not pay the bills. So, I have one of those job things.
Today, May 27, 2015, is my last day at the job I’ve had since March 1, 2011. I’m moving on to a similar organization (I’m leaving the names of both my current and future employer out of this… just ‘cause) where I’ll be doing the same line of work, but the new job will give me more responsibility, opportunities, and money. It’s a step up in my career and I’m excited for the future.
All change is bitter-sweet though….. and a little scary.
I got floxed in December, 2011 and there was a time when I thought that I wouldn’t be able to do my current job, much less move on to a job that required more of me – more work, more intellect, more problem-solving, more travel, more energy, etc. My reading comprehension, concentration, memory and ability to relate to others were horrible after I got floxed. I didn’t feel capable of doing my job for months after the flox-bomb went off in me. Things that I did with ease before I got floxed suddenly became difficult. I had trouble doing the most basic tasks. I was scared that I no longer had the mental capacity to do the tasks that were required for the job, and that I was going to get fired.
My fears were largely unfounded, because my employer was incredibly patient with me. My boss and co-workers saw me go from being strong and athletic to barely being able to walk a block, and they were concerned. They let me take time off of work to go to appointments as necessary. They saw that my mobility was hindered and did thoughtful things for me – like getting my print-outs from the copier and bringing them to me. They believed me, and told their loved ones to stay away from the drugs that hurt me. I am forever grateful to them for their support, sympathy and kindness. They are wonderful people and it’s a good organization.
Around one year post-flox I had an annual performance review with my boss. I thanked him profusely for putting up with my loss of mental capacity. He seemed perplexed by my assertion that my brain had been fried for the last year. As far as he was concerned, I was doing fine. I’m glad that my memory loss and other cognitive deficits weren’t as apparent to him as they were to me. (Floxie friends – know that you may perceive your cognitive issues to be worse than others see them. I know what it’s like to feel stupid, but you’re not stupid, and other people will be more forgiving of any mental lapses that you have than you will be toward yourself – so try to be kind to yourself.)
I will always feel grateful for my employer for standing by me while I was sick. They may not see it as a big burden, but I see it as a great blessing that I am thankful for.
It is time for me to move on from a very good organization though. I have opportunities to pursue, and I’m hopeful that my new employer will be as good to me as my last employer.
There was a long period of time – years – when I truly didn’t think that I would be capable of furthering my career and taking a job that required more of me. I was grateful for my position, but I was trying my hardest not to lose what I had, and moving onward and upward weren’t possibilities that I could even consider. Now those possibilities are a reality, and I have the capacity to take new opportunities. It’s nice, and I’m thankful for the support in my past that has allowed me to get to these opportunities to better my future.
I hope that all my Floxie friends recover. May you all be blessed with opportunities and improving health. Both happened for me, and I am hopeful that they will happen for you too! Hang in there – it gets better.