Monthly Archives: June 2017

Books by Floxies

There are a couple of new books available on Amazon about dealing with, and making it through, fluoroquinolone toxicity. Both of the following books are written by “floxed” women, and both generously share a message of hope, perseverance, and strength through the difficult and painful journey of fluoroquinolone toxicity.

Praying Through Pliés: Living With Lupus and Surviving An Antibiotic Called Levaquin

Praying Through Pliés: Living With Lupus and Surviving An Antibiotic Called Levaquin by Rhonda “Jean” Bolton is described as follows:

“A nurse’s true and inspiring journey of living with lupus and later surviving a devastating reaction to the fluoroquinolone antibiotic, Levaquin, by weaving her faith and her love for ballet into a powerful story of transformation. Beautifully and poignantly written, the author addresses her personal loss, grief, sadness, and anger, but the prevailing message is one of hope, love, and gratitude. Included are sections on exercise, sleep, stress management, and nutrition with simple and realistic suggestions for change. This book has the potential to bring healing, hope, and joy to those dealing with chronic illness, loss, or challenges of any kind, but it is also is for anyone who desires to make positive changes in his or her life. Also written for those who suffer from adverse reactions to fluoroquinolone antibiotics and who are unheard or even discounted, this story provides support and encouragement, while adding one more voice of credibility to their pain and disabilities.”

In an email correspondence, Jean also noted that, “Early readers have said it is a powerful and inspiring story of healing and transformation. I combine faith and my love for ballet to offer others what I have learned about lifestyle changes in the areas of stress management, nutrition, sleep, stress management, and exercise, the importance of positive thinking, and the power of gratitude. My hope is that this book will bring hope and healing to others.”

Thank you so much for writing about your journey through fluoroquinolone toxicity (on top of autoimmune diseases) and for sharing it with the “floxies” of the world, Jean!

The Magnificent Story Of A Lame Author

The second highlighted new book about a woman’s journey through fluoroquinolone toxicity is The Magnificent Story Of A Lame Author by Amy Moser.

The author, Amy Moser, is also the author of the viral blog post, “This Antibiotic will Ruin You.” “This Antibiotic will Ruin You” was viewed and read MILLIONS of times, and greatly increased awareness of the dangers of fluoroquinolone antibiotics.

Amy followed up”This Antibiotic will Ruin You” withThe Magnificent Story Of A Lame Author. The Amazon description of the book states:

“When I was growing up, I pictured myself as a nurse, an olympian, an astronaut…but never handicapped. I just didn’t see that coming. I was as happy and enthusiastic to greet this new challenge, as I would be a swarm of bees. It can be very hard to accept great trial with open arms.
I might be lame, but my story isn’t. Nearly seven years ago at the age of 28, my body suddenly disintegrated underneath me. My doctors had no idea why my previously healthy body was imploding. I was a spunky young wife and mother stunned by her new circumstances. Discovering the cause offered no cure. What now? Where do I go from here?
When I’m overwhelmed by this burden, and I’m too heavy to forge ahead, the hand of God lifts me and leads me on. My journey is incredibly hard, but immeasurably blessed by God. Impossible situations give God opportunity to shine and us an opportunity to trust. Miracles wouldn’t be miracles if they were possible. You know the phrase, “When life gives you lemons…make lemonade.” I’ll give you a new one. When life throws you dung, use it as fertilizer to grow your mustard seed of faith. It may move a mountain or grant you the strength to traverse over it.
This story is about building an unconditional faith in God even during the most grueling moments of my life. I’m finding beauty and hope along a rugged path I never would have chosen for myself.”

An Amazon review of the book, from Roland, stated:

“Amy Moser has endured more pain and suffering than anyone should ever have and all because of one medication for a mild infection. Her heart for God and her iron clad faith in His goodness and mercy have kept her going for her devoted husband and her children. I have never read a stronger testimony about the power of prayer and an unwavering faith. This is a very important book because of the warning about Cipro and the other drugs in its category and how catastrophic the side effects can be. But more importantly, seeing her faith as she describes dealing with the truly awful things happening to her formerly healthy body is a gift to us all. Read this book. Learn more about the side effects of these dangerous drugs. They are horrifying. Then say a prayer for Amy Moser and all the others suffering because of these drugs.”

Both books are generously and thoughtfully written. They describe journeys of hope and faith, and they are gifts to those who read them. I hope that they help you through your journey through fluoroquinolone toxicity as well!

Are you going to heal?

People often ask me if they are going to recover from fluoroquinolone toxicity. I struggle to answer them.

The most truthful and honest answer I can give is, “I don’t know.” I truly don’t. I don’t know how anyone else’s body is going to react to this poison. I don’t know if you’re going to get worse or better. I don’t know what your timeline will be. I don’t know if you’ll go through cycles. I don’t know if you’ve hit the worst of what is going to happen and your journey is all uphill from here, or if your pain and suffering have just begun.

Fluoroquinolone toxicity is so strange and individualized. There are some people who are permanently disabled by one pill, while there are others who tolerate multiple prescriptions of fluoroquinolones with no notable effect, but with their hundredth pill a “bomb” goes off in their body. Some reactions are sudden and easily noticeable, while other people have a gradual accumulation of damage and they slowly notice that they have insomnia, anxiety, GI distress, and that they cannot tolerate foods or chemicals like they used to – those people are floxed, but they often think that they’re “just getting old.” There are some people who have delayed reactions, there are some people who have immediate reactions. Reactions range in severity from mild to severe.

Different things help different people. Some people are helped by supplements, IVs, acupuncture, chiropractic, physical therapy, special diets, etc. But other people aren’t helped by those things, and some people are even hurt by them.

Everyone is different. I don’t know whether or not you will recover. I wish I did so I could give a better answer than, “I don’t know.” I can tell you that I have recovered. I recovered fully. I can work, hike, bike, travel, sleep, eat, and function as I did before I took ciprofloxacin. Probably because of my perspective as a person who has fully recovered, I tend to believe that many, maybe most, people can recover. People send me their recovery stories, and there are many more people who I see post things about their recovery on facebook. I see people move on with their lives. It’s hard to tell from facebook posts whether or not people are healed – you can’t see pain – but you can see that people are continuing to live life and that their pain and illness don’t consume every aspect of who they are. I see healing. I know that it can happen.

I also know that not everyone recovers. It needs to be acknowledged that some people are PERMANENTLY injured by Cipro, Levaquin, Avelox, Floxin, and the generic fluoroquinolones. Some of those people are permanently disabled because of muscle wasting and tendon tears, some of them struggle with chronic and permanent pain, some develop autoimmune diseases for which there is no cure, some never gain their energy back, some have insomnia that negatively affects every aspect of their life, some have serious psychiatric issues, some people have intractable GI issues and food intolerances, etc. The people who are severely floxed, who are not going to recover, deserve acknowledgement and respect for their struggles. Severely floxed people are some of the strongest people I know. During a conversation with friend of mine who was SEVERELY floxed (she was bedbound and paralyzed for months, and it hurt for her to blink) I noted that if she had been floxed at the level that I was (a moderate reaction) she would still be running, but if I was floxed at the level that she was, I’d be dead. She is so, so, so, so strong, and she has my undying respect and admiration.

When people ask me if they are going to be okay, if they are going to recover and heal, I think that they’re often looking for reassurance. On some level, they must know that I don’t actually know whether or not they’re going to heal (I’m just a fellow floxie who happens to write on the internet), but they want to hear someone who has been through it say, “You’re going to be okay. You will heal. It will get better.” I often say that to people. I believe it too. I think that it’s true for many, maybe most, people. Our bodies really do have amazing healing abilities. There are people who are floxed at all levels who see changes in their condition, and even healing. (My friend mentioned above has made remarkable progress. She may never recover to the point where she can run again, but she is no longer bed-bound.) Health ebbs and flows. Our bodies are constantly healing, and aging, and going through good times and bad. Most importantly, I think that hope is important, and that it’s healing. Reassuring people, and telling them that they’re going to be okay, gives them hope. Telling them that I have recovered gives them hope that they too will recover. Telling them that recovery is possible helps them to get through the hard times.

Hope is really, really, important.

Acknowledging that these drugs can do permanent damage, and giving respect to the permanently injured people who are living with the damage, is important too.

I try to walk the line between giving hope and acknowledging the pain that these drugs cause. I do my best, but I’m not always successful. I believe that it is the right thing to do to reassure people when they are scared, and to give them hope when possible. I also believe that it is the right thing to do to tell the truth (that I don’t know). Sometimes those things aren’t reconcilable.

Perhaps the best answer to the question of, “Will I be okay?” is, “I don’t know, but I can tell you that I fully recovered, so I know that it’s possible.” That’s the truth. And I hope that my recovery gives all who hear about it hope that they too will recover. Hope really is important and healing. It’s vital, and I hope that I can give you hope while still acknowledging that I don’t know what the future holds for myself or anyone else.

 

 

A Letter About How to Get Through Fluoroquinolone Toxicity

A few months ago I received an email from a floxed individual (whom I’ll call “T”) that really succinctly and perfectly summed up what I’m trying to convey with this web site. I asked him if I could share his message and he gave me his blessing. This is what he said:

In your first Floxie Hope Podcast, you said you wanted to change the world. I just wanted to let you know that you changed my world. I suspected that my symptoms were caused by Cipro, but I wasn’t sure until I found your website. All of the stories sounded so similar to mine. So much suffering, and nothing the doctors could do about it.

I read your posts and your e-book eagerly, trying to figure out what I could do and what I could expect. I learned a lot and followed a lot of suggestions, trying to find what worked best for me. Throughout my struggles, several things you wrote or posted stuck with me and helped me get through, including the following.

Stay alive – This seems obvious, but it’s not. There were times during the dark days, when I was at my worst, that suicide seemed like the most obvious choice. I knew I could not endure the life I was living for very long, and I was a burden on my wife. It was her that kept me going through those times. I wanted to see if I could get better so I could be there for her when she needed me, and do the things she needed me to do.
Keep going – This was difficult, because every nerve in my body was telling me to stop. It took a lot of effort and will to keep moving, but I knew it was important, so I did what I could.
Nothing is permanent – It was terrifying to think that the suffering I was experiencing could continue for the rest of my life. When I stopped and thought about my symptoms, I realized that they were very dynamic and were changing all the time. Hopefully, they would change for the better.
Patience and hope – In reading the recovery stories, the two most common things that helped people were time and a positive mental attitude. I kept telling myself and those around me that I would get better. There were times that I didn’t believe it, but eventually I did improve.

It has been almost 18 months since my last dose of Cipro. I can’t say I’m fully healed because I still have symptoms, but they are not nearly as severe as they were a year ago. My focus has shifted from hoping to coping, and I feel like I have my life back. I believe that if I keep up the healthy lifestyle habits I started, I will continue to improve. Thank you for all your encouragement, and for spreading the word about the perils of Fluoroquinolone antibiotics.

I have received countless lovely emails from people who have been floxed that have written beautiful messages to me. They are all appreciated! There’s something about T’s message that stuck with me though, and I wanted to share the message with you.

When I read T’s message I thought, “Exactly – that’s exactly what I’m trying to get across.” Staying alive, keeping going, realizing that our health status fluctuates, patience, and hope, are all so important in getting through the pain and suffering of fluoroquinolone toxicity. I even think that those things help with healing.

Thank you, T, for your lovely, kind, thoughtful, and generous message! I hope that others are getting those messages of hope from Floxie Hope too.

I also hope that T’s email, and this post, serve as a reminder to those of you who are struggling right now. Stay alive. Keep going. Nothing is permanent. Be patient. Have hope. Those things will get you to tomorrow, and tomorrow is a new, hopefully brighter, day. Continue getting to tomorrow, after tomorrow, after tomorrow – perhaps healing, recovery, coping, acceptance, change, relief, or whatever you seek, is in one of those tomorrows.