Tag Archives: fluoroquinolone recovery

A Return to Hope

I’ve been doing a lot of research into the mechanisms of action for fluoroquinolones lately.  I’ve been passing what I’ve learned on Floxie Hope.  Unfortunately, much of what I’ve learned hasn’t fallen into the “hopeful” category.  Most of what I’ve learned has been pretty grim.  Fluroquinolones deplete DNA, damage mitochondria, stimulate lymphocytes (immune system cells) deplete irreplaceable enzymes and produce neurotoxins.  Bummer, huh?

In a weird, twisted way, I get excited about these discoveries.  They’re the nails that are going to seal the coffin on these drugs, and maybe even Bayer and Johnson & Johnson.  I imagine these facts bursting into common consciousness with an expose in Time, Scientific American or The New Yorker.  I get excited about being right, about being at the forefront of this problem, about being able to tell people, “I told you so” when they realize that quinolone toxicity is a huge problem that is adversely affecting the lives of millions of people.  Irrefutably showing the danger of these drugs is key to getting their use curbed, to stopping the atrocity of people being maimed by prescription antibiotics.  It’s also the key to justice – once the damage pathway for these drugs is shown, those who have been hurt by them can get compensated for their pain and suffering.

My ego gets wrapped up in fantasies of taking down Bayer and J&J.  I have grandiose notions of saving the world from these nasty, evil drugs that are maiming and killing innocent people.  I want people to connect the dots, to see what I see; that fluoroquinolone toxicity is connected with all autoimmune diseases, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Allergies, Dietary Intolerances, Depression and Anxiety, Insomnia, Gulf War Syndrome and even Autism Spectrum Disorders.  I want to be validated by recognition.  I want the world to change.

In wanting validation and change in the world, I have lost track of the purpose of this blog.  The purpose of this blog is not to save the world.  It is not to bring down Bayer or Johnson & Johnson.  It is not to be right.  The purpose of this blog is to give hope for healing to those adversely affected by fluoroquinolone antibiotics.  It is FloxieHOPE.com, not FloxiesDestroyBayer.com.

I apologize for scaring you guys.  I apologize for pointing out the cellular damage that these drugs inflict.  I don’t think that the damage done is irreparable.  I think that most people heal from Fluoroquinolone Toxicity.  I think that most people move on to live full, happy, healthy lives.  I think that DNA is constantly patching and repairing itself.  I think that the body is constantly fighting to neutralize toxins and that even if our enzymes aren’t replaceable, we have enough of them to function or else we’d be dead.  I think that there is hope.  I think that there is healing.

That is why I created this web site.  To let people know that healing is possible.  To tell stories of healing so that those who are scared can realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that they should have hope because this too shall pass.

So I’m sorry for highlighting scary information.  I’m sorry that the focus of many of these posts has been freak-out material, not hopeful, healing material.  I really want you all to be hopeful.  I want you to heal and hope is healing.  It is, I promise.

I can’t promise to be 100% hopeful 100% of the time.  I think that bringing research about the adverse effects of these drugs to the fore is important.  I think that it’s important to try to change the world and to try to stop these drugs from being prescribed inappropriately.  I’ll just promise to try to remember that this site is about supporting people through a difficult time, letting them know that things do get better with time and letting them know that hope is necessary and that healing is possible.

I’m not a Scientist.  I’m not a Chemist or a Toxicologist or a Geneticist.  I’m actually quite annoyed that people with these titles aren’t putting together the implications of these various studies and shouting about them, and thus there is a void.  I’m trying to fill that void by connecting the dots to the best of my abilities, but analyzing these studies is not my area of expertise.  My area of expertise is healing from FQ toxicity.  It’s my area of expertise because it’s what I have done.  I can personally testify that healing is possible because I have healed.  So have the other people who have shared their stories on FloxieHope.com.  We have been scared, we have been hurt and we have healed.  Healing is possible.  It is possible for you too.  Have hope.

 

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Saving the Life of a Floxie

I think that it’s really important to have someone who saves your life early in your Floxing.

Everyone’s Floxing/Fluoroquinolone Toxicity is different.  Some people start having aches and pains after taking a fluoroquinolone and those aches and pains gradually build over time as their tendons get weaker and weaker, their cartilage thins and their nerves get more exposed.  The people with gradual onsets of fluoroquinolone toxicity problems are probably unlikely to realize that the causes of their issues are the antibiotics that they took at some point in the past.  They are more likely to attribute their pain to aging, Fibromyalgia, arthritis, etc.  Other people’s fluoroquinolone toxicity comes on suddenly.  They go from being healthy and active, to being suddenly unable to walk, sleep, think or do any of the activities that they enjoyed just weeks earlier.  Those people tend to freak out – as is a reasonable thing to do when, without warning, everything in your body is going hay-wire.  All Floxies deserve help as they go down the path of being poisoned, and recovering.  Those with a sudden onset of physical and mental health issues very much need help as they go, suddenly, from being healthy and active to barely able to move.

Fluoroquinolone Toxicity is frightening to experience.  To go from being able to easily run 5 miles to barely being able to walk, is scary.  To have pain that travels throughout your body, for no apparent reason, is scary.  To lose your memory, your ability to connect with other people, your ability to read, your ability to sleep, your sanity, etc. is scary.  All of those things happening at once, is TERRIFYING.  Add the fact that excessive fearfulness is a CNS related symptom of fluoroquinolone toxicity, and you get some people who really, really, desperately need help to make it through.

We need people to save our lives.  Perhaps that sounds dramatic.  Perhaps it is.  But it certainly doesn’t feel overly dramatic when you are going through having a bomb go off in your body.

Most people go to their doctor first.  I’m sure that there are plenty of Floxies who have been helped, and saved, by their doctors.  But generally, there is not a lot that Western Medicine can do to help people going through Fluoroquinolone Toxicity, so MDs are left to either turn away patients with FQ toxicity, or misdiagnose them.  The rejection that Floxies face from their doctors, the people that they go to first to help them, to fix them, is painful.  Not only is everything going wrong in their body and mind, but there is no solution that can be offered by the people who gave them the poison that hurt them.  (The promise of every pharmaceutical ad ever seen on TV of, “see your doctor immediately if ____ occurs,” is broken.)  It’s heartbreaking.  Sometimes the heartbreak of the disappointment is compounded by doctors being hostile or disrespectful to the Floxie, accusing him or her of having mental problems or of being a conspiracy theorist.  I won’t forgive those doctors who make sick people feel worse by blaming them for their illness.  However, I actually feel sorry for many doctors in the situation of not knowing how to heal or fix a Floxie.  They have no tools with which they can fix the mess that their drugs made.  They have little knowledge of the effects of these drugs, much less the mechanism by which they operate – they only know that they kill bacteria and that they typically don’t immediately kill people.  They have little time and a lot of pressure.  The Western Medical System is not set up for doctors to save lives (with the exception of emergency medicine), or to heal people.  It is set up for doctors to “fix” ailments by throwing drugs at people, and both patients and doctors suffer as a result.

When doctors aren’t able to provide help, help is sought elsewhere.  And when it is found, it is a God-send.  We truly NEED our lives to be saved.  We need someone to prop us up, to let us know that we will be okay, that we can make it, that life isn’t over – in a way that we can hear, in a way that we can know and truly believe.

My Acupuncturist saved my life.  The needles that he put in me didn’t save my life, though I think they helped.  The herbs that he gave me didn’t save my life, though I felt better because of them.  HE saved my life.  He treated me when others weren’t able to.  He gave me a diagnosis.  He treated every new symptom that popped up, they popped up daily for a while, and he saw me as often as necessary.  He stopped the downward spiral that my body was intent on for a while.  He stabilized my physical, mental and emotional health.  He made me realize that healing was possible.  He never downplayed a symptom and he always believed me, but he would still tell me when I was being silly, wrongheaded or self-destructive.  When I lost my memory and reading comprehension and asked him, “What if I’m stupid now?” he responded, “But you’re not,” and it meant the world to me.  Because I trusted him.  He knew how to treat my body, mind and spirit.  He knew what to say and he knew what to do.  He is a healer and he was able to help me to heal.  I am eternally grateful to him.

Other people are saved by their Chiropractor or Naturopath or other Alternative Medicine provider.  Fortunately, Alternative Medicine is more set up for healing, and listening to patients, than Western Medicine, and help with healing can be found within those systems.

Other people have their life saved by a family member who recognizes the crisis that his/her loved one is in, and drops everything to help them.

Other people have had their lives saved by strangers.  They reach out, in a crisis, to people over the internet, and sometimes a guardian angel comes through and helps them, saying whatever needs to be said to let the panicked Floxie know that she/he will be okay, that she/he will make it, that the crisis will pass.

Life-saving help can come from anywhere.  It can come from a person who you know well or it can come from a person who you’ve never said a word to.  It can come from a doctor’s office or a church or a Facebook group.  It’s there though.  You might have to look for it.  You might have to ask for it, but it is there – and most people are happy to help if they can.

Those people who help Floxies through the toughest times, are so, so, so important, and I am grateful for every single person who has understood, who has helped, who has guided and who, somehow, maybe even without them realizing it, has saved a life.

Thank you.

 

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope that all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!  I hope that it is filled with love, laughter, good food, family, friends, joy, etc.  I hope that pain, sickness, anxiety, etc. are not at the forefront of your mind.  I hope that, despite the trials, tribulations, pain and suffering, you have things that you are grateful for and that you can focus your energy on those things, no matter how small they may be.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the following:

  1. My health.  This is the first Thanksgiving since I got Floxed that I am as healthy as I was before I got Floxed.  I was okay a year ago, but I wasn’t 100% yet.  I’m 100% healed now.  It feels good.  I am immensely grateful for my healthy body and mind.  I will never take my health for granted again.
  2. My family.  I am lucky that I have a wonderfully supportive family.  They have always loved me, I have always loved them, and I am incredibly grateful for them.
  3. My friends.  I have gained some wonderful friendships over the last year.  A lot of those friendships have been with fellow Floxies who I only know through the internet.  Even though those friendships aren’t in-person connections, they’re still valuable.  I enjoy the camaraderie that I have with fellow Floxies.  I appreciate that there is a community of people who understand and support each other through the difficult journey of being Floxed.
    1. I am thankful that each of my Floxie friends is making it.  You guys are survivors.  Just putting one foot in front of the other is difficult for many of you, I know.  But I’m glad that you do it.  I’m thankful that you keep going, keep trying and keep fighting.
    2. I’m grateful for my non-Floxie friends too.  Your love, laughter, support and caring mean the world to me.
  4. FloxieHope.  I’m thankful for the success of this blog.  I don’t know how blog success is measured in blogger universe, but in my world, reaching as many people as I’ve reached since starting FloxieHope in June, 2013 is amazing.  I’m thankful that I have a platform through which I can reach out to people, share information with them, and let them know that they are not alone and that they will survive.
    1. I am thankful for all of the people who have written their recovery stories for FloxieHope.  THANK YOU and CONGRATULATIONS on your recovery!
    2. I am thankful for Chandler Marrs of www.hormonesmatter.com  for publishing some of my essays about fluoroquinolones on Hormones Matter.
    3. I am thankful for Arjun Walia of www.collective-evolution.com for publishing some of my essays about fluoroquinolones on Collective Evolution.
    4. I am thankful for everyone who reads FloxieHope.  Thanks.  🙂
  5. I am thankful for the journey.  All of it.  Even the crappy parts that were unpleasant at the time, I’m as grateful for them as I am for the good things.  Without any of it, I wouldn’t be where I am now.  I’d like to think that I’m doing alright now, so I’m thankful for everything that has led me to this moment.

Of course, I’m grateful for a million other things.  One thing that meditation has taught me is that I can find beauty and gratitude in the smallest things, even in the pleasure of the breath.  Those little things that I’m thankful for are too numerous to list.  Please know that I am thankful for them though.

I truly hope that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Xoxoxo

-Lisa

 

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Moving forward after Cipro knocked me down

When I realized that Cipro was the cause of my body going completely hay-wire (I didn’t know immediately because my reaction was delayed), and I saw stories on the internet of people getting worse and worse indefinitely, and/or living with pain and disability caused by fluoroquinolones, I thought that I had accidentally killed myself. I thought of writing letters to my family and friends to say goodbye, to let them know that I was gone and that I was so, so, so sorry that I had taken those pills.

In some ways, even though I survived, obviously, I think that I should have written those letters (even though they would have scared the crap out of my loved ones and probably gotten me locked in a psych ward). Because I am different now. The old Lisa is gone. I certainly didn’t die in the physical sense, but who I was changed in an instant, with those 6 pills.

……..

Apparently search engines don’t like it when there is duplicate content on the internet.  In order to appease Google, I will refer you to the other site, www.collective-evolution.com, where the story was published in full – http://www.collective-evolution.com/2013/09/14/a-journey-through-pharmaceutical-induced-illness/

 

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