This is a guest post written by Stephanie. She has faced disbelief, and even abuse, from people in the medical fields. Sadly, I think that her experience will be familiar for many of you. Know that you are not alone in your frustration, fear, or anger. 

Dear Doctors,

Let me start by saying I have more friends than I can keep up with. That I am loved and in a such a healthy relationship more so than most. I am not a hypochondriac.

When I say I am fine it means that I am managing my pain with cannabis. When I have attacks please try to understand that I have been abused by the medical system to the point where it is terrifying for me to go to a western medical doctor. I had a doctor look into my eyes while I was pleading with him to help as I was choking say I do not know what is happening to you maybe we can wrap you in a blanket. The nurses asked him if he was going to do any tests. He said no I don’t know what’s wrong with her. I will write up her paper work offer her some pain medication and release her once she is calm. I am not exaggerating that really happened.

I have been told, “you are tachycardic you need to go to the ER right now.” The nurse who “helped me” rolled her eyes at me and said, “so you have pain.” My arm was curled up by my chest from the pain and she said, “you’re going to need to pull that arm down for the x-ray.” I said, “it hurts when I put my arm down.” Her response, “well do you want an x-ray?” Nothing was found she said, “you’re fine go home.” No other testing was done because the Doctor who sent me was an integrative doctor and I could hear them making jokes about my doctor from outside the room and I was changing.  They never checked my blood pressure I kept saying I was dizzy everything was ignored because the x-ray was “normal”.

I have sat and told doctors about being poisoned and been told, “well, you would know more about that then I would.” This is coming from two movement specialists who you would assume would be familiar with side effect s from medication. The last one proceeded to tell me about all of his degrees he proceeded to tell me about how he trained the doctor who I wanted a second opinion from as she made me cry and told me I was making it up. I said I really don’t care what you think of her and would like you to please look into my illness on floxie hope maybe you can help me. He then proceeded after 15 minutes of telling me mostly about himself probably five minutes of having me move and watching me have attacks. He said I needed friends and my naturopath was stealing money from me. This is after admitting he knew nothing about side effects of the medications I took. I sat in the car and cried for about 15 minutes. I said to myself that day no more abuse. No matter how bad the pain gets, I am done with western medical doctors unless I know they will believe the side effects that are listed on the side of a pill bottle.

I write this as a plea for those who cry in their car as I have, for those who lay in their bed or couch day after day when you feel like your heart is pounding in your chest as I do. When you do all the breathing exercises you are supposed to. where I sit there and say at least I have a roof over my head and food in my tummy so even if I have nerve damage in my heart and this is my lot, it’s better than most.

Please understand we are very ill. More ill than most could ever take. We fight every day to live with a thirst for life that most take for granted. That it’s scary when the only covered forms of help try to tell you that you are cry or lonely.

That there is no way to fight back but stop going to western medicine doctors unless you are told they are “safe” and will listen. That we need to change this system of bowing down to the almighty pill. Pills can cause harm. For those like me who live every day in pain we need the help of the healthy. We need you to hear us and see we are not crazy we are not lonely, we have simply been abused by a system that is bought and paid for by the pharmaceutical companies. The healthy are the ones we need your kindness and support. We need you to question we need you to love us and be kind to us. To hear our stories not with judgement but with love. Please read our stories, please ask your doctors if pills are really the first needed step or the easy way out for them. Ask your doctors if you have a bacterial or viral infection.

Please join us in our fight. Please stand by us because it is a very scary world once you have been abused by the medical system. We need to end this abuse and we need your help to do it.